I actually wrote this awhile ago, but lately I’ve been reading a lot about Israel the character (embodying the entire nation of God’s chosen children). I’ve always been fascinated/repelled by/drawn to Israel as a character. She had God. She had daily, irreproachable proof. And yet, how often she failed to see Him. Sounds familiar, yes?
I am Israel.
With God walking in front of me - guiding each day and night,
I forget Him.
I give in to every impulse to sin.
And then I slink back to God, like Gomer, who comes home in the early morning hours -
- shame and scandal my only clothes.
Each morning, I promise it was the very last time.
Each night, I crawl out again - hating myself too much to stay.
I am Israel.
The faithfulness of God a daily reminder of my own weakness.
I turn to the things that can never fill me, knowing, at least, that we deserve each other. I can never obey and they can never fulfill.
I am Israel,
Constantly in need of rescue, I call out to the God I’ve abandoned.
He comes back for me every time. Asking, ever asking, “Will you love me this time?”
Knowing my answer and the inevitable future will never match. He scoops me up and carries me home.
If only I could stay.
If only - just once - I could be strong. Stronger than the voice that calls me away - the voice that knows how easy it is to get me back.
I am Israel.
Knowing God - and turning away.
Knowing He’ll always come back for me.
And hating the fact that
I am Israel.