Losing Everything
I was born in a Muslim family and was brought up in this culture. At the age of 29, everything went wrong. I broke up with my fiancé and was getting worse at my job, which I loved so much. While trying to forget the negative things in my life, I was meeting new people and changing environments frequently.
Nothing made me happy.
Because of my boredom, I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was drinking alcohol and using drugs. I continued with these addictions for a while. I was angry and constantly asking WHY?
One day I wanted to kill myself. Just as I was about to commit suicide, my thoughts flashed toward the Creator. I thought about the afterlife. As I was about to kill myself, I called out to the Creator:
Are you God or aren’t You God? Someone save me. I didn’t think that life could be this hard or that people could be so cruel and insensitive. I hit myself with alcohol and substance abuse. I know these are bad, but You know that I only use them to get away from troubles, pain, and sadness. Please help me if You can hear me. I don’t want to use them. If I’m going to deserve hell, like what I’ve been taught, by killing myself, stop me right now. I want to be happy without being dependent on anything. If this is the case because I have lived far from You and offended You, show me where I made a mistake and teach me how to make a fresh start. I’m about to die, God. Help me.”
Dreams
After I said this prayer, I fell asleep and I heard a voice in my dream. While I was in the dark, someone said to me, “You will find a break, knock on the door and it will be opened to you. Because every caller finds Me, my door will be opened to the one who knocks.”
Then I had another dream. In the darkness, there was something far away that looked like a door and was shining. I was running toward the light, and someone standing by the door in the light called out to me and said: “I am the door. You cannot go to the Father without Me.” He also said, “I am the light of this world; follow Me. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness. He will have the light of life.”
After these dreams, I woke up with a peace inside me, but I still didn’t know what to do. I was constantly praying to the Creator to show Himself to me, and asking Him to explain to me what these dreams I had had meant. I spent months thinking about what dreams mean.
Knowing God
One day, while drinking coffee, I met a Christian. While talking, I suddenly felt very close to him. He understood me and listened to me sincerely. I warmed up to him and started to tell my story, then talked about my dreams. After talking about my dreams, he took a small book out of his bag for me. This book was the Bible.
To my amazement, he showed me verses from the Bible, and they were exactly the same as what I heard in my dream. These were the words of Jesus Christ himself! I realized that it was Jesus Christ who called me in my dreams.
After that, I started reading the Bible. As I read, I found peace and Jesus gave me hope. I realized that Jesus is Lord and savior. Through the Bible, God showed me that what had happened to me was not God’s fault, but rather because I lived on my own accord.
In a very short time, Jesus gave me healing, hope, and blessings. I got rid of all my addictions and bad habits without any medical support. Jesus saved me, and thanks to the Bible, I now know God very well and know that He is a loving Father.
Before following God’s way, I used to not like people. Now I love them very much. I am no longer under the control of sin. I have become a new person and I am full of hope.
