What is something people wouldn’t be able to tell about you just by looking?
Most things, right? In 1 Samuel chapter 16 God has sent Samuel to anoint one of Jesse’s sons as successor to the throne. Samuel gets one look at Eliab and immediately thinks this has got to be the guy. God responds by pointing out that He isn’t like humans who get distracted by what they see on the outside because He knows and cares about what’s going on in our hearts. And yet, just like Samuel, we (humans) are still really good at making assumptions based solely on what we see and forgetting to take time to get to know the hearts involved. When we look at others we can’t know from their appearance the places and people that are important to them, the skills they’ve honed, experiences they’ve acquired, or languages they speak. If you looked at me you’d have no way of knowing that I am the youngest of six and am fluent in American Sign Language because one of my older brothers is deaf. You wouldn’t know that I’m a mom (unless you noticed that distinct bit of mom-tired in my eyes) or that I taught music at an inner-city elementary school or that I play the harp. We’ve all got countless parts of our identity and experience that will only be revealed if someone is curious enough to ask and we’re vulnerable enough to share.
As MKs enter different environments they encounter corresponding assumptions about their identity and experiences. When they are in their passport country they may look and sound like the people surrounding them, which can result in others assuming they’re happy to be “home” or most comfortable in that locale. When they are in the country in which they’ve been growing up their appearance may stand out from the people surrounding them, which can lead to assumptions that they’re foreigners, unfamiliar with the local culture and daily life. Can you imagine how it would be frustrating or exhausting to be frequently misunderstood or placed into categories that don’t accurately portray the whole of who you are? As people who love and care for MKs we have the privilege and opportunity to pray for them in each type of environment, learn more about the MK/TCK experience as a whole, ask individual MKs/TCKs questions that are thoughtful and intentional, listen graciously when they are willing to share, and connect them with other MKs/TCKs who can bless them by personally understanding their experience.
PRAY FOR…
- MKs to have deep friendships that provide refreshment and connection in the midst of being misunderstood by others.
- Parents of MKs to listen compassionately when they express frustration with assumptions made by others.
- MKs to know that God understands and is familiar with every single aspect of their life: each place they’ve lived, relationship they’ve made, source of frustration, and source of joy.
- those interacting with MKs to ask questions that are not rooted in any assumptions and to be an encouragement to MKs in demonstrating that there are people who care enough to want to know their hearts.
