by a Team Expansion worker
This has been a hot topic for years among the missionary community and there are a few helpful articles out there as well as some not-so-helpful articles. As a single person who served on the mission field, I’ve certainly read my fair share of these articles and here are the conclusions I’ve come to based on my understanding of scripture as well as my own personal conviction.
WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR MARITAL STATUS OR LACK THEREOF. Regardless of whether I have a “Miss” or “Mrs.” preceding my name, my identity is first and foremost a child of the King and coheir with Christ. Many singles say this but few actually live it out. It’s hard to accept that some of us will not marry even if it IS a desire of our heart (I also recognize that some purposely choose to remain single). Trusting God’s sovereign plan for our lives means trusting even the things we cannot understand or potentially things we would choose to have differently. When we truly believe this and live in this truth God can and will bless us in our singleness.
I’ve experienced God’s goodness in my life for many years as a single. The ministry opportunities I had on the mission field as a single allowed me to invest 100% of myself because I didn’t have to consider a spouse’s needs.(1 Corinthians 7:32-35) My relationships were deeper and more of an investment simply due to the fact that I could give so much of myself. Since I was single, I was cared for more, looked after more, and invited to do more with the nationals since they were my family. God allowed them to “fill” that void of having my own spouse and children. I was one of them, adopted and accepted in an intimate way.
This by no means negates the impact or Kingdom investment my married coworkers had on the people we were serving overseas. They were able to minister to the nationals in other ways that I couldn’t as a single, and it was the perfect blend of ministry. My point is this, God needs both.
What I’ve seen as the problem for many singles is they don’t believe that they are fully “whole” as a single person. They serve and live their lives as if they are limping around or missing a limb. And at times, even married people see singles this way or at least make comments that cause them to feel that way. I’ve poured over the scriptures time and again and find nothing that argues for this idea. Yes, I firmly believe that God created the institution of marriage (Genesis 2:18; 21-24). I believe He created us to be in relationship with Him and one another. In His word he uses marriage as a picture of what our relationship with Him should look like. But nowhere does He say that we are not “whole” if we are unmarried.
Sadly, society, and even the church has somehow conveyed this mixed message to singles. Whether intentional or not, it’s affected the landscape of how singles view their self-worth and value as a Christ follower. I understand the struggle and it is real. I myself desire with all my heart to be married. But I still have to choose to live my life on the truth that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of my Creator and my worth and value is “whole” regardless of what status box I check on a form.
Years ago I made a decision to live life to the fullest and be joyful in my singleness, whether that results in marriage down the road or not. This earthly life is fleeting and whether we experience it as a single or as a married person doesn’t change eternity. What matters most is how we live now so that others may share in that eternity with us.
